Thursday, July 24, 2008

And it all keeps spinning... my head, that is.

Aside from feverishly working to pay the incoming college debt I will now greet for the rest of my life, making time for the friends who have been waiting anxiously for me to finish my academic endeavors and return home, spending time with the significant other who is oh-so-patient with my crazy work load, trying to adjust and help the parentals fully realize that I truly *have* crossed the line of childhood and dependency to womanhood and independency...


...yes, aside from all that, another day has gone by that leaves me surrounded by four classes worth of books staring at me from my bedside just shouting out, "put us in a syllabus!" (No, I'm not crazy...but at times I feel like I do hear these voices).

Times ticking away; I no longer have all summer to read, think, plan, write, plan some more. Oh, and the nightmares--the oh-so-vivid nightmares--of first time teaching began about three weeks ago. THREE WEEKS AGO. My psyche isn't giving me any time to rest, that's for sure.

However, despite the nightmares and anxiety I really have been getting a sufficient amount of planning done. As of right now, I'm left to plan a three hour literature class for Satellite L. Perhaps I saved this class for last because I didn't get my books until last week....or perhaps I saved it for last because sometimes, yes sometimes, literature scares the crap outta me. I often wonder, "Will these 24 students jump up and down with glee like I do when I read works like 'The Red Wheelbarrow'?" Ummmm probably not.

But all these worries, concerns, doubts, fears, and dreads--despite all logical thinking--excite me.

This is our time now, ladies. This is what our professors have prepared us for through many visits in the office--door opened and door closed--through comments on our papers, through emails encouraging us to revise and think deeper, through the recommendations to read 'this book' or 'that book,' through the pressing to submit and present a paper at a conference, and most of all through the many things--academic and life-worthy--they taught us.

Yes ladies, it's *our* time now.


Teacher Poet said...

If it makes you feel any better, Prof. Brit Lit told me last week that *she's* already had her first back-to-school nightmare. Yes! And we both know she's a good teacher. Plus, she's been teaching ten years now. Just letting you know you're in good company, Doc. :-D

Rhetorical Twist said...

Yes, all the profs I have spoken to say that they still, no matter how long they have been teaching, feel nervous on the first day.

I just got all my books (as you read in that last post), and so I am faced with the looming task of planning classes. I just wish they had come earlier, as I am now smack in the middle of moving preparations. I'm starting to feel like I'll never be ready!